Canada, eh?

We had all day to get to Toronto, so we were in no rush at all to leave our sweet sweet soil. We cruised through Niagara Falls, birthplace of Rick Shook. He and my uncle were pointing out all the sights, like the park, and the carbon plant. We parked and strolled out to the falls. Wow. That is a lot of water. I do want to clear something up though. For those, like me, who have never quite made it Western New York and so their only knowledge of Niagara Falls comes from Superman II, it is not like that. You see, they filmed that from the Canada side, not our side, so from America the water flows from left to right. Everything was backwards in my mind. It was as if I was in bizarro world – little did I realize that would happen in about 30 minutes when we crossed the border.

I am in the drivers seat, Brian is next to me in the other Lazy Boy, Geoff was right behind me on the sofa with my dad next to him. We pulled up to the customs booth and talked to some nancy Canada boy. He asked us the standard questions:

Nancy Canada Boy: What is your country of citizenship?

Scott: We are all US citizens.

Nancy Canada Boy: Where are you from?

Scott: We are from Southern California.

Nancy Canada Boy: Why are you coming in to Canada today?

Scott: To see a baseball game in Toronto.

Nancy Canada Boy (real confused now because no one in Canada really goes out of their way to see a baseball game): You drove all the way here to see a baseball game?

Scott: Pretty much, we are seeing a game in all 30 Major League stadiums, we will be headed to Chicago after the game.

Nancy Canada Boy: What do you guys do as a profession.

(It was here that I was tempted to say that we were in a band)

Scott: I’m an engineer.

Brian: I’m an engineer as well.

Rick: I’m a chemist.

(Geoff opens his window so the nancy Canada Boy could see him)

Geoff: I’m unemployed.

After he got taken to the white room with the nice nurse we made it through. Canada is a weird place. Obviously it is a different country so things wouldn’t be the same. But the crazy part is that 90% of the country is just like USA and then all of a sudden there is something random. For example all the distance markers are in kilometers, and ‘color’ is spelled ‘colour’. Weird deal.

We got to the Sky Dome (actually now it is called Rogers Centre) about 2 hours before game time, which was perfect because there is a brewery across the street which stays open until 6 pm (Canadian Time). We pulled into a lot that cost us $10. I asked the attendant if he accepted US money because none of us had Canadian. His response, “You know you are in Canada”. Oh! We are in Canada?! Gees, I’ve been driving really fast then. What a jerk, that is two encounters with Canadian and both were not pleasant. Canada, eh. Well, we enjoyed a free beer from the Whistle Stop Brewery, and then another one back at the van, and then headed into the game. Canada is so bizarre, I don’t know what it is all a-boot. The homerun distance is measured in meters, or metres, I’m not sure. Their currency is all colorful and it has the Queen of England on it. I started to try and figure out why and I was thinking so hard that blood started to come out of my ears. Eh. But the worst thing was the fans. They were heckling their own team. And doing weird dances and stuff. I felt like I was back at Stanford; on the surface level everyone looks normal but once you sit down you realize you are surrounded by people who aren’t socially-centered. Best part of the game was that Rafael Palimero finally played. And we booed him. The whole stadium booed him. There was something special about hearing 16,000 fans rise up and with one voice say, ‘Rafael Palimero, you are a ginormous cheater. Stick a needle in him, he is done’. He went 0-4. Glorious.

By the way there are not fireworks after the game if the Blue Jays win.

One last Canadian story. We got gas as we were leaving Toronto and Brian went into the mini market to get a soda. He was trying to figure out how to pay for it, he had about 4 bucks in Canadian change and some US quarters.

Arab attendant with French accent: Let me help you with that.

Brian: But these are US.

Arab attendant with French accent: Oh, it is ok. It works too.

Brian (as he was exiting the store, addressing the rest of us): Wow, what a nice guy.

5 minutes later

Brian: HE RIPPED ME OFF!! Our money is worth more than theirs. ‘Let me help you with that’, of course, he was taking my money away. Damn Canadians.

Eh, I guess that is what Canada is all a-boot.