What was Will Smith thinking?

You may be thinking to yourself, “Wow, this road trip Scott and Geoff are on is inspiring. I should go on a vacation too. Perhaps Florida.” Well you would be wrong. Florida might be a vacation for a Death Row inmate, and that is about it.

First off, there are spontaneous hurricanes. We were just driving down the road and it hit us. We couldn’t even see. Some of you may have heard the audio post I put up while this happened. I apologize for my language and that is why I erased it. Also, there are about 37 toll booths in a 10 mile span. They are all about $0.75. It is ridiculous. Can’t we just pay one flat fee?! It is as if people save up their change for an entire month just to drive to Orlando. The Florida toll booths are single-handedly keeping the US Mint in business.

I don’t want to complain now. I feel that must people who complain on their blogs are either living in their mother’s basement or wearing a mo-mo, possibly both. Day one in Florida wasn’t that bad, but this state is not all it cracked up to be. Northern Florida was actually rather beautiful, a lot of open fields, and, of course, everything is extremely green. We decided to go to the Kennedy Space Center because we had some time yesterday and lets be honest, rockets are cool. We bulldog it through Hurricane Jimenez or whatever, get out to Cape Canaveral, walk up to the museum, $30 ENTRANCE FEE!! Oh, I’m sorry, I thought my hard earned income which was taxed by the Federal Government was enough, I thought that I, as a tax-paying American, own part of this. Clearly I am mistaken. But it looks cool. If you can save up about $26.75 in quarters you might be able to drive out there and check it out sometime.

We left the Cape and drove down the coast to Vero Beach home of Dodgertown. It was a pilgrimage to Mecca for me. The town of Vero Beach was kind of run down but the facility was rather cool. They have about 6 baseball fields, and bullpens, and batting cages, and we got to walk through them all. Furthermore, the Vero Beach Dodgers, a Single-A team, had a game that night and we managed to catch a couple of innings. Minor League Baseball has an intimate feel to it which makes it hard believe that it is professional baseball. Real cool.

If it was the mid 1500s and I captained an elaborate ship from Spain across the Atlantic, risking life and limb of my crew and myself, I would have the determination of a mule. And when I landed on the tip of Southern Florida I would be overjoyed. I would get off the ship and start walking North in search of the Fountain of Youth. I would walk about 20 feet and turn around and say to my men, “Nope. It isn’t here. For the love of God, get back on the boat. We are out of here”.

To understand why I would have this response I want you to imagine something for me. Imagine taking your TV into your bathroom and turning on tele-novela as loud as possible. Now tear everything off the walls, graffiti a little bit, throw toilet paper and towels everywhere. Turn on the shower as hot as possible – make sure the door is closed. Now run in place for 47 straight minutes. Don’t just job, RUN. After that, pick up a book on Quantum Mechanics and begin reading it. Confused, irritated, frustrated, are you contemplating digging out your eye balls with a plastic spork?!? Welcome – to – Miami. Benvenidos – a – Miami. What was Will Smith thinking?

Hands down the worst town we have visited. It isn’t just the humidity, Georgia and Alabama were worst. There is construction everywhere, the same streets intersect each other, the people are snobby and hard to understand, and the 24 hour Fitness’s are only open 14 hours. Imagine that? So we are leaving South Beach, we are going to be camping in Fort Lauderdale – maybe its nicer, but I’m not holding my breath.