Tropicana Field 

Leaving the South

We left you off in Tampa Bay, Florida. Well we are now in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. About 1100 miles away. My my was there a lot of driving inbetween.

First off, let us tell you about the Devil Rays game. Both of us were pleasantly surprised by Tropicana Field. Although it is a domed stadium it still tries to have an intimate look. It does, however, have catwalks about 200 feet up from the field and Alex Rodriguez hit a shot off of one which landed at second base but was ruled a homerun. Later in the game Jason Giambi hit a juice ball off of one on the right field side but it was ruled foul. It is kind of like watching a volleyball game at California High School (about 4 people will appreciate that joke). Two crazy things happened at this game. One, there were more Yankees fans than Devil Rays fans. By a ratio of about 5:1. There is a reason for this, the Yankees have longed made their spring training home in Tampa Bay so the Yankees was the only baseball these people got for decades. Also, the Devil Rays have never had a winning season. Yet something didn’t seem right about hearing a stadium chant ‘Let’s go Yankees’ outside of New York. It is like going to the bank teller and asking them for a pound of pastrami, just the wrong place for such antics. The number two crazy thing involved some fans. Now, I’m not making this up, Geoff has a picture to prove this story. The left fielder for the Yankees is Hideki Matsui, a Japanese fellow, who is nicknamed ‘Gonzilla’, because, well, us Americans only have association with about 3 Japanese things and ‘sushi’ or ‘Sony’ just didn’t seem appropriate. Here is where it gets weird. The drunk Yankees fans next to us in the cheap seats pointed down to some fans along the third base line. It was a man and his son wearing full body matching Godzilla-like outfits. Let’s me be clear here so there is no confusion. A man, he was a man, probably in his 30s, either made or had made a full size green felt suit complete with hood in the shape of a head. There were purple spike-like objects along the back. His head looked out the mouth of the fabric monster. This man, he was a man, either made or purchased not one, but two of these costumes. He then put on himself and his infant son. As fore mentioned, Tropiciana Field is domed and climate-cultured, yet the Stadium does reside in St. Petersburg, Florida where the game time temperature and humidity were both 94. Imagine the thought path this guy had, “You know the Yankees are coming town. Oh, I have a good idea, since the Yankees have a player nicknamed Godzilla I’m going to get me and little Corky all dressed up like cartoon monsters and then risk heat stroke on my way to the game. Then we will sit in front of thousands of other people and hold up signs hoping and prayer to get that one smile or wave from Hideki Matsui. Then, and only then, will people know how much I like the VISITING TEAM.”

Right after the game we left town. Earlier in the day we did stop at the Home Depot to buy battery-powered fans. Here is the exchange between me and the cashier.

9^th Grade Educated Cashier: What you gettin’ these for?

Scott: The humidity, its killing me, I can’t sleep.

9^th Grade Educated Cashier: You been drinkin’ haven’t you?

Scott: What?! No, not yet (note: it was 9:47 in the morning)

9^th Grade Educated Cashier: Ahh, don’t lie. Where you from then?

Scott: Los Angeles.

9^th Grade Educated Cashier: Whaz humidity like out there?

Scott: Nonexistent. Its great, you can walk around outside without sweating.

9^th Grade Educated Cashier: Yeah, but you got those earthquakes.

Scott: Touche.

Somehow my purchase turned into the age old East Coast - West Coast battle. And she presented the argument that living in an area with ridiculous humidity 24 hours a day and about 5 hurricanes a year is better than living in an area there the ground shakes for about 10 seconds every couple of years. What a nugget of gold. I would have settled for a nice, “Good morning, find everything alright”. That would have a little less infuriated, however not half as humorous.

That night we drove completely out of the state of Florida, slept for a while in Savannah, Ga., and kept rocking up the 95. We drove through South Carolina, North Carolina, and most of Virginia. Last night we stayed with our friend from home Alicia who lives in Lynchburg, Va. which is located in the center of the state. On the drive out there we drove through Appomattox the site of Gen. Lee’s surrender to end the Civil War (technically the war didn’t end until the surrender of Edmund Kirby Smith’s army in Texas on June 2, almost 3 months after the treaty at Appomattox). The National Park is only 2 miles off the main highway so we decided to detour. It cost a couple of bucks to get in but I throw the vibe out to the lady at the gate and she let us in for free. I mean, I had not showered or shaved in two days, I was driving a sweet Ford Aerostar, and I was wearing a purple shirt that said ‘Lakers, team of the 80s’ – everything a girl in Appomattox, Va. could dream of. We were only there for a few minutes, but it is such a cool place. Open battlefields, old buildings, crazy old ladies dressed in authentic 1860s garb, what is not to like? We even got to stand in the parlor room of the McLean house where the treaty was signed. Considering baseball was invented during the Civil War era we thought it was only appropriate to be at such an important Civil War landmark.

Lynchburg is not too far from there and we were estatic to get there. Mainly because it was the biggest city we saw all day, but it did also offer a shower, a shave, food, laundry, drinks, and friends. After we got cleaned up we went to the local Olive Garden. It was lovely. To make it even better Alicia’s boy Matt is a server there and he comped our meal. Nothing feels better on a road trip than being clean and full unless it is being clean and full for FREE. For our friends at home – Matt is the closest thing we can imagine to what Larry Olsen was like in college. Sometimes he even talks with his hand over his mouth. He was instantaneous fun. We then met up with Alicia and some of her friends at some townie bar. We left once the band started playing because there were that terrible. Who would have thought that the Tuesday night entertainment in Lynchburg wouldn’t be Grammy award-winning? The amazing part was that we got our cover charge back. Well, Alicia, who is an attractive, college-aged, blond girl got our cover charge back. We then went to the birthday party of one of her college friends. Who is a twin, but celebrating her birthday by herself. Kind of depressed me a bit. Yet I still managed to have a great time.

The drive from Lynchburg to Philadelphia was not that far but it was really long. We drove through DC and Baltimore. Crazy that we will be back in those towns next week. But for now it is all about the City of Brotherly Love and sweet sweet cheese steaks.

To the 5 Boroughs

This post is in response to a comment on my last post.

We hold no real distaste for the Bronx. The comment I made about being from the Bronx was for purely comical purposes. Many people in South Florida are Jewish women and many are from the Bronx. It only seemed approriate. Clearly, I was out of my element.

Dear readers, please take into consideration the goal of this trip is to see tons of baseball, not form the United Nations of the Ethnic Communities of the East Coast (UNECEC). Please take that into consideration before being offended.

More South Florida

We have spent a life time in South Florida. I just don't understand how old Jewish women from the Bronx live down here, then again they come from the Bronx.

Saturday night was the Marlins game. The Marlins were the first team that really responded to us and decided to host us. So we got to the stadium early, they allow tailgating there, and hung out in the humidity until it was time to meet our contact. The time came and he didn't show. I called him. Voice mail. We waited. I called again. Voice mail. So we decided to buy tickets. As Geoff is handing the ticket guy our credit card the guy calls back. I walk away to take the call. He wants to meet us at the gate and let us in. I turn around. Geoff already bought the tickets. No refunds. No time to scalp. Classic Miami.

However, we were given great seats, just about 20 rows up from the home team dugout. And, get this, the section we bought tickets for won the promotional giveaway. Two free beers at the Greyhound Racetrack in the suburb of Hollywood. You could imagine what it was like being the only two ya-hoos in the field level cheering for the people in the cheap seats.

Furthermore, the Miami fans rock. I don't know what it is, probably an unbridled willingness to get out of their seat and sweat a little less, but they are great fans. They would be up on their feet when the pitcher had 2 strikes on a batter with a runner on third, stuff like that, real savvy. Also, with the score 2-1 in the Marlins favor a Giants runner from second tried to score on a line drive to center field. Juan Pierre (the Marlins centerfielder) gunned it home and there was a terrific collosion at the plate, catcher held onto the ball, the runner was out, the Marlins went on to win 2-1. Glorious.

We spent the night in Miami Beach. I couldn't bring myself to pop my collar and I don't own a pair of shoes that cost more than $250, so we couldn't stay in South Beach. But we did go to Flannigan's, a bar/grill up the coast. On a Saturday night they had $3 pints of Newcastle. The first great thing to happen to us since we got to Florida.

So we did not realize that the Devil Rays were not in town the day after the Marlins game. Which mean .... BONUS DAY. A free day in South Florida, what a delight.

We knew we could not handle another moment in Miami so we drove out to Key West. Key West is the last of the Florida Keys, it is about 170 miles from Miami and only 90 miles from Cuba. It sits in the middle of the ocean yet it is rather civilized. The drive out there was great because we drove through an island about every 5 minutes. And Key West is great, there is quite a cool downtown and about 50 bars, all for people getting off of cruise boats, we assumed. I am rather comfortable in my sexuality, yet I was slightly apprehensive to order a Frozen Rum Runner at Crabby Dick's underneath a rainbow flag. But I had to, the humidity was about 120% out there. And if you didn't think that was possible, well, IT IS.

It is also worthy to mention that while driving to Key West we passed the bridge from True Lies. Geoff and I must have said, 'Nice shooting Marines' and 'The bridge is out! THE BRIDGE ... IS .. OUUUTTTT, GHAAGHAHGAGA' about 30 times, always in a killer Austrian accent.

After we got back from Key West we showered up at the 24 hour fitness (which closed at 8pm), bought some battery powered fans at Home Depot, and drove across the state. We were going to head to the Bed Bath and Beyond but we didn't have enough time. On the Everglade Expressway we hit another hurricane. No big deal, only about 4 feet of rain. And we spent the night just north of Fort Meyer. Today we see the Tampa Bay Devil Rays and tonight, hopefully, we will make it out of this state. Til then...